You Might Be a Biker If........

With thanks to a local bike shop Bicycle World and Fitness who started me thinking along these lines with a list posted on their website.

This could also be titled you might be a distance road biker in Houston if..... Although I think most of these would be pretty applicable almost anywhere.


two biking friends at a bike appropriate sign

You Might Be a Biker If

You use your helmet as a hair-styling device or if you style your hair to avoid helmet head.

You can give instantaneous directions to any corner in the city, but only along bike routes and side roads or highways with good shoulders.

You are polite to most everyone, you find the language in some rap songs embarrassing but you automatically swear and flip the driver the bird when he or she cuts you off.

A car goes by carrying two bikes. Later, you can't recall the drivers, passengers or the make of the car, but you can ID the bikes' make, model and color and the type of the bike rack.

You know the calorie burn by gear ratio, speed and ride time for all of your favorite foods.

You’re not particularly fashion conscious, but you do have to have at least one pair of socks and a do rag which matches each jersey.

You probably have more matching and coordinated clothing sets in your biking clothes than you do in your regular wardrobe.

You shop for your spring wardrobe at discount sports stores or online bike suppliers, rather than malls and clothing stores.

It may take you an hour to get ready to go out for the day, but you can gear out for a ride in 20 minutes flat.

Your mantra for leaving on a ride is water, helmet, gloves and cell phone.

You know the location of all the bad road and major potholes on all of your favorite routes.

Your arms and legs are tan, the tops of your knees are so tan they look dirty, but your hands are fish belly white, except for the first knuckle on your thumbs.

When you see a flag along the road you check it for possible indications of wind direction and strength.

The first thing you check on any weather report is the wind direction followed by whether or not rain is expected, and then by the temperature.

You wake up in the night to thunder or lightning and have your extra gear and any route changes on your mornings’ ride planned before you’re asleep again

Although you speak primarily English, you are familiar with and can properly pronounce most common biking terms in Italian, French, Spanish and possibly German or Dutch.

You pick the routes of your daily rides by the prevailing wind direction whenever possible, but accept the fact that no matter how carefully you plan, the wind will still probably be blowing in your face going home as well as going out.

Multi-ton cars and trucks are tearing along in front, alongside and coming up behind you... you don't flinch or panic, but you do know where the bail out spots are.

You know the location of every public toilet, gas station and possible lightning shelter along your preferred routes.

You know your riding time to most locales but not always the exact distance.

When driving in a car, you catch yourself swerving out of the right hand lane to avoid water and rough spots along the edges and in the gutters.

You know all of the flagmen on the local highway construction sites by sight and sometimes by name.

In hot weather you lick your lips a lot to recycle the salt.

When actually driving, you stop at a red light and since no pedestrians are in the crosswalk you start to drive right through before you realize you are NOT on a bike, and slam on the brakes. Similarly, when driving on the highway at 60 mph, you freak out at a 1-inch-wide groove in the pavement. What if your tires get stuck?

You know that you are the smallest lightest thing on the road, and ride and navigate accordingly.