Signs of the Times

The collection of stickies in the car and on the desk where I jot down things as I see them are mounting up, so here is a download of pithy church signs, items of contemplative interest and other Texas weirdness.

Pithy church signs seen since the Pineywoods Purgatory ride:

"All God wants is a relationship." With whom and why?

"God likes you just the way you are." I didn't know God channeled Mr. Rogers.

"We plan for the journey but God plans for the stops." God, the cosmic conductor.

"Jesus is my Rock n I am on his Roll." Jesus is either channeling cannibals and needs a snack or has become a list maker.

New Curches:

As if the Reapers of the Harvest Militant Apostolic Evangelical Church from east Texas wasn't quite extreme enough we have a new church which recently opened in the neighborhood called "The Alpha and Omega Ministeries- Healing and development through prayer and prophetic works." The place is surrounded by a high steel fence and has an automatic gate. I'm not sure if it's to keep the believers in or the non believers out or just to maintain the prophetic works atmosphere. We are slowly being surrounded.

Food signs of the time:

The grocery store is having a sale on Spam. The best price is on the single servings of Chicken Spam Light in single serving packets. Light Chicken Spam, isn't that a bit like defeating the whole raison de etre for Spam?

The pet food section recently installed both a cooling case for their "homemade, low fat, custom cut premium fresh dogfood which is sold as roasts, chops, patties and just ground and is made of prime cuts of lamb, chicken, beef and pork, ground and seasoned to delight your discerning dogs' palette." Although it looks good enough to eat, I don't think I will be wasting any money on it for Sadie, the corgie whose preferred treat is kitty "tootsie rolls" from the litter box. How do I know? She always forgets to lick the kitty litter off her nose.

The freezer in the pet food aisle features "Frosty Paws Doggy Ice Cream" little individually packaged pawprint shaped psuedo ice cream in tasteful little paper cupcake papers decorated with ever so cute puppies and bones. The ice cream is made of soy, ice cream flavoring, additional protein powder and is "guaranteed to be low in calories, fat and contains no artificial or syntheitc ingredients which could damage your companions health." Ice cream flavorings are not aritificial and or synthetic? Who knew?

In the same freezer are doggie popsicles, basically frozen beef gravy or bouillon, gaily colored and in a bone shape. Yes, they are on a paper stick, also gaily colored which is guaranteed not to splinter, chip, or break. Again these treats are "guaranteed to be a healthy treat for you best friend" and to contain "no artifical ingredients." Where do they think those gay colors come from? I can see beet juice for the red, but flouescent pink, purple and lime green? And aren't dogs basically shades of grey color blind?

When I die I want to come back as a dog but only if I have an owner who will give due consideration to my discerning pallette and feed me from the fresh food and freezer cases in the pet food aisle of my grocery store. After all, "your dog deserves it".

Sorry Sadie, no ice cream for you.