being dunned for charity

"At least you've done something good", I was told by a clerk at the drugstore as I checked out at the register after having agreed to donate $1.00 to diabetes research. This was particularly ironic after I had turned down her complete recitation 2 for 1 offers which included spot remover, candy, gum, candy, makeup, candy, chapstick, and more candy and agreed to the donation only because I wanted to get up, out, away and removed from the situation. As I exited through the door she told me to "have a blessed day."

As I came out of the door of the drugstore, I was immediatly assailed by two different charities that had tables set up in the path of foot traffic. Although they were both good causes, breast cancer and pediatric cancer, both of which I have willingly done charity for and donated to in the past, this was another irritation. Both had come on signs saying "look what you can get for free" and both had a variety of "exciting offers" donated by local merchants, mostly of the buy one, get one of an equal or lesser value free. I'm an instant gratification type of person. If I am going to make a donation, I want something, a pen, or a button acknlowedging the donation, even a receit in my hot little hand , immediately. I do not want to have to go to a restaurant, spa, home furnishing store, nail salon, or movie theater and pay money, however nominal, to get something for "free" but this seems to be the order of business of the day. Once again as I walked away towards my car I was told to "have a blessed day."

I went on to the grocery store and refused to donate to send a disabled child to camp, help buy basic school supplies for a Houston kid, the Red Cross, or prostate cancer. All causes that were being touted at the check out. Maybe if they had less big 20 gallon water bottles for the miniscule donations they were receiving, the bagger might have been able to bag half my groceries before they got jammed together and fell on the floor. I guess it really doesn't matter since they were canned goods, but it's the principle of the thing. Once again as I walked away, I was told to have "a blessed day."

At the Office Max they were raising money for the Red Cross Disaster Relief Program. Once again I refused an offer of "a free bag of candy and a bottle of water" with each five dollar donation!" Excuse me that's not free, that's five dollars. And yet again I was told to have " a blessed day."

My question is when did "have a blessed day" become an appropriate salutation or comment in anything other than a church situation. I find it disconcerting enough in a small coffee shop much less larger businesses like CVS and the grocery store. It seems particularly inappropriate in a large box store like Office Max. When did people decide that blessing people is better than simply thanking them for their business? Perhaps it is a particularly Texas phenomenon, or perhaps it is associated with the upcoming election. The mind boggles.

Of course my impulse is to respond with something along the lines of "and may the hammer of Thor smite you on the forehead", or "may the force be with you" except that I think the humor would be lost. I could always say "and the peace of Allah be upon you" except that then I might be labeled a terrorist. Saying "may the Earth Mother and Sky Father bless you with life", or "may you be thrice blessed" might work if I could stand explaining what I meant but the fact of the matter is I don't want to respond and thereby encourage any more of this nonesense.

Is it too much to ask that salespeople in a retail business situation simply tell me how much I owe them for goods or services rendered, make the correct change and hand it back to me, put my purchase in a bag and say thank you?" No, apparently they want to reach out to me, become my friend, and bless me by the tenets of their religion without even considering if I want to be blessed, or even believe in their particular religious tenets.

And speaking of solicitations for charity, I do wish the National Cancer Organization and all of its' imitator, clones and counterparts legal and illegal would stop calling me on a daily basis, telling me that they " aren't trying to belittle any work or donation I have made on their behalf recently but couldn't they just send me a small envelope in the mail assuring them that I would make a five dollar donation?" It's as bad as when employers used to send around a note telling employees what their expected level of donation would be , based on their salary. I prefer to select my charities on research on where and how their funds are used, how much I am able or willing to donate, and then donate privately. It is nobody else's business how, where, when, how much or if I even donate to charities at all.

When did we lose the concept of donation to charity being a voluntary and private act? Whatever the rest of the world has decided, that is still where I am at. I have however finally begun to realize that the cancer organization is calling me on a set schedule and so refuse to answer the phone. That doesn't stop them from leaving the same message, day after day after day, but at least I don't have to deal with them personally. I guess that's the best outcome for all concerned. As for responding to the "have a blessed day", I am still thinking. All responses caustic, sarcastic and obscure will be considered and definitely anything not PCwill receive primarily.

I am now retreating in a carmudgeonly fashion to my Bat cave to weave and brood.