Liberty Taxes, Texas Barbeque and Pizza Pan Madonna

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Liberty Taxes, Texas Barbeque and Pizza Pan Madonna


Liberty Taxes

Like H and R Block, Liberty Taxes is a local franchise with offices throughout the Houston area. Their mascot or symbol is Lady Liberty, the statue of Liberty which features prominently on their signs and advertising. Recently, the local office has been advertising with a live person inside of a “claymation” looking “Lady Liberty”.

If you took a short fat fire plug and crossed it with a large sheet of green foam you would end up with this figure. It does neither the Lady herself, or the costume designer credit. At that though, it is a step upwards from their previous campaign which involved a very chunky young black man in a “do rag” and headphones dressed in a green nylon robe with a spiky green headdress, holding a plastic torch in one hand and his I pod in the other standing in the middle of the road along with the homeless window washers, accosting cars at the stoplight.

Texas Bar-be-que

Spring and warm weather are rapidly arriving in Houston. In the past week I have seen daffodils, blooming Bradford pear trees and azaleas. All real Texans are dusting off their barbeques and breaking out their latest recipes for beans and beef. The Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo starts this weekend with the annual trail ride party and bar –be-que cook off.

In the spirit of the season we went over to the new Home Depot to find a simple gas grill to replace our previous 7 year old grill which has rusted out in the Houston humidity. While looking for something simple and inexpensive in the clearance section, we came across the ultimate Texas style gril,l which the young man helping us was convinced was just what we needed.

At half a months’ rent and or half a months’ worth of groceries, this gas grill featured two main cooking grills, two shelve grills, all with individual thermostat controls, and automatic halogen light which for illumination when the individual halves of the lid were open, and the obligatory side burner for the beans. In addition there were side shelves with hooks for the entire selection of bar-be-que accoutrements, openings for the relish tray, plates and an ice bucket for cold beers and wine coolers. The most important item which was most eagerly pointed out however were the electric plugs for the CD player and blender. Obviously you cannot have a proper Texas bar-be-que without tunes and margaritas.

Much to the disgust of the eager young man, we took a simple single grill that cost less than a week’s worth of groceries and left. Obviously we have not yet become “true Texans” and we still don’t have our priorities straight.


Pizza Pan Madonna

On one of my longer bike rides I pass a series of used car dealerships, repair shops and junk yards outside of a small agricultural community in the far suburbs of south west Houston. That the area is distinctly religious and revivalist in nature is indicated by the names of some of these locations. There is the “God’s Treasures” a second hand clothing store, the “Jesus is Lord” used cars and tires, the “Salvation and Praise” auto salvage and “Jesus Saves” auto repair. There are no apparent churches on the road, perhaps they are back in the woods off of the main highway, but the number of other religiously named and oriented institutions is quite apparent.

Late last week, in the same area, a cafeteria worker at a local middle school found an image of the Virgin Mary on a pizza pan she was washing. At first she thought it was just a stain from burnt on cheese, but the harder she scrubbed, the more apparent the image became.

She decided it was an miracle, took the tray home and installed it in her front yard. Her front yard has now become a shrine drawing worshipers from all over the greater Houston metro area. The pizza pan has been set up right next to an icon of the Virgin Mary, and indeed the outline of the shape is identical although the pizza pan obviously lacks most of the detail of the icon. Standing on an improvised candle laden altar, draped with white, decorated with flowers, this newest iconic miracle will remain in place for worshippers over the weekend before it is taken to the local church. .

As of 11:00pm last night, several thousand true believers had visited, said a novena or rosary and were willing to attest to the miracle of the Madonna in the Pizza Pan.

There has been little comment as to what will happen to the Pizza Pan Madonna after it has been removed to the local church. One rumor has it that it will be auctioned off on E-Bay to raise money for the local church charities.